Worship pastor at Grace Church, Erie PA.
Married to my beautiful wife, Rachel
Self-proclaimed gamer, mac geek & Liverpool Fan.
Other activities include singing, writing, playing, worshiping for Christ.
Worshiping in the Tension Between Life and Death
Rachel’s grandfather passed away today.
He’s been battling cancer for about a year, and this week his health took a dive and seemed to really speed the process along. Rach and I have been talking all this last week about the strange juxtaposition between life and death that God seems to have our family walking through.
You see, Rachel’s grandmother passed away only 9 months ago, also from cancer. At the time we didn’t quite know it yet, but when we learned later and then went back and figured it out, we realized that our first child was conceived the week that Betty died. A strange coincidence, but one that gets yout thinking about the contrast of new life and the end of life.
Now we see another strange coincidence in our circumstances. This week we’ll be celebrating Dick’s life and saying our final goodbyes, and then within two weeks Rach will be giving birth to our daughter Chloe. The reality of anticipating the joy of new life while saying goodbye to one of our closest loved ones has been heart wrenching at times.
So what does this have to do with worship? Two things:
- First, that Jesus Christ is Lord through all circumstances and all seasons. What has sustained Rachel and I through joy and sorrow has been the foundation of Christ’s work on the cross. The gospel gives us hope–hope that we’ll see Dick & Betty again and hope for our daughter’s heart. It gives us strength to live out lives of worship in how we parent, how we live as children of our own parents, and how we love one another as husband and wife.
- Songs take on a new life and new meaning as your life intersects with them. Worship at Grace yesterday was amazing for many reasons, but what was most meaningful to Rachel and I wasn’t what you’d expect. It was one line in the song In Christ Alone–a song we’ve sang dozens, if not hundreds of times at Grace.
No guilt in life/no fear in death/this is power of Christ in me/from life’s first cry/to final breath/Jesus commands my destiny
That one line brought both of us to tears yesterday (her in the service and I as we talked about it in the car on Sunday evening). It has never been my favorite line before, but it was so poignant in its truth for our current circumstances.
There is comfort in knowing that as Dick takes his final breath, and as Chloe greets us with her first cry, Christ is in control. There is a sort of beauty in it–a haunting, bittersweet beauty that has me thankful for God’s hand in all circumstances–for His glory and our joy.
Filed under: Reflections
yeah it was sure hard singing it! especially when i saw Uncle Cory singing down front on his knees during that song. i had to move my sad focus on joy in praising God for “no fear in death” and honoring Papa.
Hey Brian!
First of all, after Tyler died the same line in that song meant the world to me and Chris, which is why we sang it as his memorial service. There was no guilt in our life, the fact that we lived and Tyler died… and there was no fear in death. Amazing!
Secondly, we’ve been doing a lot of the same reflecting on life and death. It’s an incredible place to be. Aaron was born the same day Tyler died - in fact, he was born 5 minutes before Tyler died… same day, same time, 3 years later. For us it has been incredible to witness how the Lord has redeemed our greatest sorrow.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Rachel and Chloe as you walk through joy and sorrow - it’s not easy to walk through both at the same time (thankfully God gave us 3 years between Tyler’s death and Aaron’s birth)… but we rejoice that Rachel’s grandfather knew the Lord and that he is with Him now, and we greatly anticipate the joy of Chloe’s arrival. It has been a blessing to hear from both you and Rachel about how God has His hand in every circumstance for His glory… He has been glorified through your family.
Diane and I have talked many times about #1 and the contrast of how we respond to adversity versus how those without Jesus respond.
We’ve seen a few couples in your place, seeing the coming and going of souls to and from earth. It’s the kind of place that takes you much, much deeper with Jesus where you get to a glimpse of how God sees our reality.
This was really beautifully worded, Brian. I love doing life beside you and Rachel - you both are remarkable examples of the hope we’ve all been given. Thanks for leading so passionately yesterday morning!